(All writing published here is owned by me unless cited otherwise.)
I have an incredible memory for your body
and my body
For your body, my memory is miraculous
I can’t remember my left from right but
I know the curl of your fingers on my neck
My nerves are supposed to stop at my follicles but
The places your eyelashes brushed the split ends of my hair
You used to whisper Lolita,
my sweet Lolita child
while your fingers crept inside me,
gluttonously conscious of their potential for brutality.
I’ve been hungry for everybody who has desired me
But he calls me Aphrodite
Who knew the ancient sex and sway
No ingenue’s inexperience
Or baby’s ignorance
He calls me Aphrodite
I have never been weak
Or vulnerable to your roughman hands,
To your hardness
I’ve never been afraid the way you were.
"it lay in my palm soft and trembled
as a new bird and i thought about
authority and how it always insisted
on itself, how it was master
of the man, how it measured him, never
was ignored or denied, and how it promised
there would be sweetness if it was obeyed
just like the saints do, like the angels
and i opened the window and held out my
uncupped hand; i swear to god
i thought it could fly”
- Lorena, by Lucille Clifton
Born with the moon in Cancer
Choose her a name she will answer to
Call her green and the winters cannot fade her
Call her green for the children who have meade her
Little green, be a gypsy dancer.
He went to California
Hearing that everything’s warmer there
So you write him and letter and say, “Her eyes are blue.”
He sends you a poem and she’s lost to you
Little green, he’s a non-conformer.
Just a little green
Like the color when the spring is born
There’ll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow
Just a little green
Like the nights when the Northern lights perform
There’ll be icicles and birthday clothes
And sometimes there’ll be sorrow.
Somewhere under a warm fresh bruise
somewhere under new soil
I don’t know where but it was there
and when I… found it I found ecstasy
and that was pain hot and severe on my tongue
way back behind my eyes
high up in the bridge of my nose
and I came undone and
there it was not silly but ridiculous and found
and you did not know who I was.
I mean you looked at me over your shoulder with this half hearted condescension and said said to me You’re Lost.
but all I’ve lost is my mother’s pale blue years
I mean what am I without those.
Before, you told me: Watch out for the relapse
we’re going so fast you might fall down all at once.
I did I did and you know what you did then:
Me lying naked and lost and proud and undone, completely
undone you tore me in half you tore me in two.